New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” — Lao Tzu
This quote perfectly sums up what I’m going through as our little family packs up our Toronto apartmet in preparation for moving into our first house…in Dundas, Ontario. We are so excited about owning an actual house—and one we really love, at that—but we are less excited about leaving the city. (No disrespect to Dundas—we chose you for a reason!), but Toronto has been our home for the last 15 years, not to mention our kids’ only home, and we love city life. Like, really love it. But we are tired of feeling helpless in the face of a runaway housing market, and wanted our kids to have a yard, so we’re going to try this homeowner thing on for size. Mike will be commuting into Toronto every day and I will continue freelancing and blogging from our renovated cottage (originally built in 1870!), and heading into the city for events.
Viggo is sad to be leaving his friends and his school, but is looking forward to “moving to the countryside” 😂. Gigi doesn’t completely understand what’s going on, but judging by the fact that when we visited the house with the kids, she wandered around the yard happily collecting chunks of grass in her hands, I think she’ll settle in just fine. Mike’s commute could potentially suck, but he’s being positive and looking forward to the hour to and from the city on the GO as a chance to read/tie up loose ends/decompress at the end of the work day. I, on the other hand, haven’t been able to channel the same positive attitude my husband has adopted, and have been a wreck. I can’t even go on our weekly bread run to Cob’s without feeling sad and mentally adding that to the list of “Things I Can Only Do in Toronto.” I know that sounds ridiculous–and it’s meant to. That’s been my headspace since buying the house. Those closest to me haven’t known whether to congratulate me or hand me a tissue. I’m pretty sure Mike is ready to move without me 🙂 But bread aside, my BFFs live here and I have spent the last two years, since Viggo started school, cultivating a great bunch of friends among the moms (our neighbours), I see every day at pick-up and drop-off and now, at coffee dates, business chats, and everything in between. That is going to be where I feel a real void, I think. It will be less so, I know, when we start meeting people in Dundas (and I should mention that one of my closest friends also lives there. I know! I’m being silly and focusing on the negative.)
I tend to glorify the thing I’m leaving/losing. I have to keep reminding myself why we’re moving: we wanted a yard and more space for the kids, we were dealing with tight quarters, inconsiderate neighbours, and everything else that comes along with renting in a big city. And, I mean, we will have a house! I haven’t really let that sink in (until the last couple of days when I started buying some decor items). Plus, I’m not really losing the city. I’m only a 50 minute drive away. So, onward and upward!
I’m excited to take everyone with me on my journey as a first-time homeowner and throug the process of decorating our new digs! Will post some pictures soon!